When i became a MAMA

I never understood the word called Mid-Life crisis until i spoke to my friend who is in his mid-forties. What we call as mid-life crisis is honestly 3/4 life crisis. How many people actually live up to 90 years these days. Our life expectancy is going to be around 65-70 depending on the number of beers that you drink before your meal and after. Leave alone the wine that you drink during your meal. This being the case, one is expected to have a mid-life crisis around 35 years. Forgetting the math here i sipped my beer to listen to his droll.

He is not married and he was advising me to get married. When somebody brings the subject of marriage to me, i am always cynical in one way or the other.  I asked him why one needs to get married. He is already 2 glasses down on his black bush scotch by now, went on saying that one needs to have some one near him when he wakes up. I thought well if thats his reason then the solution is simple to his crisis. I concluded immediatly that i want to hook him up with a girl in the bar. 

Normally i would have kept quiet and would have listened to him but this time i am already high and i needed some action. So i urged him to go and talk to a nice looking girl in the bar. She was totally drunk too. Although being a white guy, he's surprisingly shy when it comes to talking to strangers. I always thought americans went and spoke to anyone they wanted when i was in India. This guy is totally opposite to all my imagination of a perfect white guy. I think that really answered why he's not with a girl.

We always wanted to learn more culture and all those crap when we drink. So to keep up the tradition of the drunkards, i asked him what's his criterea for a perfect date. I also brought up the idea of parental-dating (Ponnu parkum padalam) like the one's that happens in India. By now he completed his 4th glass and went for the next round. He started saying good things about the indian culture and the girls which is seen only in bollywood movies. He started kinda feeling hard and was crying by now. 

I normally hate seeing guys cry when they are drinking. Not just because they look like a sissy but they are simple inconsolable. So to cheer him up i volunteered to hook him up with the girl. Eventhough he insisted me not to venture, the beer in me gave me the courage.

I spoke to the girl for about 1/2 hour, i don't know what i spoke but my friend went home with that girl in the bar. I was proud of my achievement that day and had few more beers with my other friends only to wake up in the next morning to realise i was a "MAMA" (pimp) the previous night.

To this day i laugh at my own stupidity.